Category: Fashion Granny

This column is going to be a refresher course on two topics that I liken to” the gift that keeps on giving,” kind of like the Christmas fruitcake! Does not hope spring eternal? Hence my intention is that this repetition of strong answers to valid fashion questions will finally take hold! None of us deserves to be injured by the very sight of a bad spray tan or socks with sandals ever again. I don’t know about you, but my eyes can’t take much more!

Greetings Fashionistas!   FASHIONGRANNY is back from vacation, getting a puppy, a stay in the hospital, quitting her job, two flat tires at once and… a lot of perusal of the fashion parameter!

Greetings Fashionistas!   FASHIONGRANNY is answering no questions this issue!   I am going to use my platform to discuss the wonderful, and of course, fashionable, burg of Beaufort, South Carolina. Beaufort! The hometown of this marvelous newsweekly for which I write!

Dear FASHIONGRANNY, I am considering plastic surgery and I have plenty of money to re-arrange my entire body! I don’t want to be talked out of it, as many friends, including my husband, have tried to do so. What I do want is your opinion on Plastic Surgery and how much is too much? Signed, I Swear I’m Gonna Do It

Greetings Fashionistas! You really are! FASHIONGRANNY made her way to a Ball recently and witnessed a beautiful display of fashion sense she’s been preaching about forever made real!  It was Fashion Heaven!

Dear FASHIONGRANNY, I am 54 years old and have a penchant for the look of an “empire” waist in my clothing choices. You name it! Dresses, jackets, blouses, tops, I just love an empire waistline!

Greetings Fashionistas! FASHIONGRANNY”S feeling great, having just got off the speaking circuit with the Fripp Island Ladies Club, on one of the beautiful Sea Islands of the Lowcountry. Right here in Paradise, another group of women doing good in and on their little piece of the rock!

Greeting Fashionistas! It is a new year and FASHIONGRANNY is all too excited! I am looking forward to a completely new fashion vista and cannot wait to see if our dear designers will be able to come up with something new for all genders!

Here we find ourselves at the end of yet another year of Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, and my most fervent prayer is that you, dear readers are active in all three! There is nothing like your Golden Years to move you into waxing nostalgic! FASHIONGRANNY has had a great year; I have truly enjoyed dispensing fashion advice.

  Dear FASHIONGRANNY, Are Pashminas passé? I don’t want to look like a time traveler from the Himalayas! Signed, Mrs. Conway

Dear FASHIONGRANNY,   I love your column! I am 64 years young, way past pleasingly plump and totally out of it when it comes to current fashion rules…. not as if I can look at Glamour Magazine with all those beautiful skinny girls! I have been out of the country for many years and before that, I lived on Maui, with their unique fashion sense. So now that I have moved to this beautiful area, my question is: Is it appropriate for me to continue to wear ankle length dresses (not muu muu’s please!) that hide my ugly veins and thick ankles?

Dear FASHIONGRANNY, My daughter is 14 years old and is attending a school dance. I call it a “dance” because that is what it was called when I was in school. I am having a hard time convincing her to wear an age appropriate, lady-like dress, as she wants to wear her regular jeans and tee shirt look. Would you have any “looks” in mind that will make her happy and soothe my nerves? Signed, They didn’t tell me about this part of Motherhood

Howdy Fashionistas! I’m back!   Yes! FASHIONGRANNY has returned from her whirlwind European fashion investigative tour with great news, good news and ho-hum news. Before I get into that, just let me tell you how beautiful Paris was in especial!   I know many of my FASHIONGRANNY readers have had the pleasure of a trip to Paris and will echo my sentiments in heralding, undoubtedly, one of the most beautiful cities on the planet.

Dear FASHIONGRANNY, What’s up with women today? I want to be the best gent I can be when I am out on a date with a woman, but they just won’t let me! Case in point: I go to open their doors and they’ve already gotten out or say they can do it themselves. I stand up when my date returns from the ladies room at a restaurant, and she asks me why I’m standing! I attempt to pay the dinner bill discreetly and she wants to know how much it is and tell me how much to tip! Don’t women know how they should be treated? It seems not! I am not allowed my full manhood! Help me please! Signed, Frustrated Knight in Shining Armor

Dear FASHIONGRANNY, Ok! Here we are with all the kids going back to school and I am looking for some red-hot fashion advice for the Fall of 2011. Got any? Signed, Lowcountry Lazy

Dear FASHIONGRANNY, I am in my ‘60s and I am considering letting my hair grow from a ”below the ears” length to a jaw line or mid-neck length. I want to look my best, so I am a bit hesitant. Is longer ok at my age or should I shoot for short and perky? Signed, Not a Stepford Wife

Howdy Fashionistas,   FASHIONGRANNY recently received an email asking me to define the words FASHION and FASHIONISTA. Even though these definitions are readily available in the dictionary, I took this three-part question (yes, there’s more), addressed to me, as an opportunity for personal definition by FASHIONGRANNY. What do I think Fashion is? The third part of the question was: Do I think anybody really gives a hoot about Fashion anymore… am I not wasting my time writing about this topic in a country where people are going to wear what they want to wear anyhow?

Dear FASHIONGRANNY,   At the risk of doing my own publicity…I have a great figure. I’m in shape and all the good stuff that goes along with it. I am 32 years old and have just bought myself a screaming hot new bathing suit. Looking in all the fashion magazines, I see that wearing heels with your swimsuit seems to be the new look and I love it! It makes your legs look longer and sexier. What do you think of this fashion fad?   Signed, Young and Lovely

Dear FASHIONGRANNY,   I have been invited to a Summer dinner party – fancy, twelve piece place settings and the entire hullabaloo that goes along with a major sit down dinner. Dining will be held inside, leading to dancing on the terrace afterward. This hot weather and I are just “mutual friends” and really don’t get along that well. Could you give me some suggestions on what to wear? I want to be fashionable but comfortable too! Help! Signed, Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong

Since the end of the world did not take place this past May 21st, as predicted by the false prophet Harold Camping, we now have another shot at getting our fashion on and another chance at getting it right – both for our eternal souls and our eternal fashion statements! I am sure everybody on the planet heard about this man and his erroneous beliefs that held a good majority of believing Christians and others by the short hairs regarding Jesus’ Second Coming. Crazy Harold now says it will happen later in the year! Oh, Harold, we hardly knew ye!