fashion-grannyGreeting Fashionistas!

It is a new year and FASHIONGRANNY is all too excited! I am looking forward to a completely new fashion vista and cannot wait to see if our dear designers will be able to come up with something new for all genders!

As we know, they had been busy burdening the ladies with suitcase-sized pocketbooks and hoof-esque footwear, and the men have had to suffer pencil jeans, probably sending a few of them to the emergency room for things that a polite gal like FASHIONGRANNY would never mention in her column!

My most fervent prayer, to quote an old Rhythm and Blues song, is that the fashion pundits “Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man”! I pray never to see another earring in a man’s ear. I pray that not one bunion be formed by a pleather shoe made in China and that no ankle is broken and no back wrenched with the wearing of a seven inch heeled gladiator shootie. Amen.

Now, on to a question that FASHIONGRANNY found in her inbox upon her return from vacation.



I have a problem. It is big. After 20 plus years of wearing my hair in a style I am crazy about and “wouldn’t have it any other way,“ my husband has divulged that he “HATES” my hairstyle, always did, was humoring me when I first got it cut and styled, thought it was just a passing fancy, etc; and would I please consider changing it? He also says I am too old for the hairstyle and that it‘s masculine.

I feel as though our bond has been severed and all kinds of other not so nice thoughts. My hairstyle? Short and spiky, and I do use a lot of gel to keep those spikes standing stiff.

My age? 65. I am willing to visit another “do”, and maybe it is time for a new look. Could you advise me please on both a hairstyle and how to stay out of jail for committing mayhem?



Lizzie Borden’s second cousin


Dear Cuz,

Step away from the axe! FASHIONGRANNY does not have bail money for you! I feel your pain, as it could appear as though you and Hubby have been living a lie around your hairstyle. However, it is ONLY a hairstyle and truth be told – hold on to your seat – FASHIONGRANNY dislikes your hairstyle too! We do not have to consult Oprah on this.

If I were in your position, my first thought, beyond incredulity, would be to feel somewhat betrayed in the area of honesty, as if my husband had just pacifying me all this time… and “pacification is for babies“! Yet, over the years, I have had to develop another tack in order to survive the Truth – his truth – and my marriage, along with the various slings and arrows that periodically come my way – out of left field! – courtesy of my dear Husband. Go to the Light!

That Light sounds like this: “He did not maliciously tell me this, and he supported what I wanted for years even though he didn’t like my choice.” That’s good stuff right there! That is called Love. “Now, he feels bound to me enough to tell me HIS truth freely, and even though it’s shocking to me, it is relationship to him, and I want to stay in relationship.” Remember, the World wants you in psycho-babbling dissension. Love wants you in Truth. That is my take on the “Husband” and “what was he thinking” part of the question.

My take on your hairstyle is this, and please receive it in the spirit in which it is given. Love.

The hairstyle you have chosen to wear for so many years, in the beginning, was avant garde and set you apart from the mainstream. It was a possible way to express yourself, and seemed a far safer route than total nudity. The origin of your style was 1970‘s Punk. Spiky hair on rebel musicians, Mohawks and crazy color! Then there was ‘80’s punk, 90’s punk, etc. That trend does not want to die, as you will see daily some representation of punk! I am now going to put the accent on PUNK. You are not a PUNK.

You have had this style, with its origins stated above, for too long! It is time to change. Just like any other hairstyle, you or I might have had in our youth. Pigtails at 60? Please, no!

I particularly dislike the spiky look on those of us in our Golden Years; I find it unattractive, and if your head isn’t the “right” size for short hair anyhow, those spikes added to it shout “weird,” not rebel! Ok, for a hot minute there, back in the day, by your style, you set yourself apart from the norm. It was cool! You let all your friends know, if they did not already, that you were a bit edgy and were bold enough to show it publicly, not by your words or deeds but with your style. That in itself is edgy. Yet now, after years of sameness, are you really an edgy, artistic rebel, or are you a dated, behind the times grown-up with a dated behind the times hairstyle that belies the true rebel in you?

Short, stiff spiky hair is a “defensive” style anyhow, no matter what your age. It says, “Stay away from me, I’m spiky! “ Your Husband cannot even run his fingers through your hair, let alone get too close for fear of losing an eye! You are a woman, not a blowfish!

You know, of course, as a rule men LOVE long hair on women. I am sure this dates back to the cave dweller and their penchant for dragging females to the love bed by the hair. When we started to cut our locks, that folly ended and woe was they!

Cuz, I love short hair on some women and I am not asking you to grow your hair long, but I will suggest a more flattering short style and I will guarantee that you will illicit new and wondrous gasps from your friends and Joan Q. Public alike! I will also guarantee your hubby will think he has won the battle and it is always good to keep him delusional.

You, however, will have won the war, as now you have a brand new and fresh visage with a brave new world to rebel against! YOU will look and feel better! FASHIONGRANNY can tell from your query that you not only are beautiful, but also bold! It takes boldness to write me!

Put the axe away Lizzie!


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