To Breathe or Not To Breathe
Dear Aunt Bossy,
My friend has bad breath. I know he brushes his teeth and cleans his tongue, but his breath often smells like a wolf’s lair. What should I do?
Aunt Bossy is a firm believer that there should be a law that friends have to tell friends when their breath is not enticing. There is no worse feeling than going home at night and having your spouse or kid say, “Eeeew. Your breath stinks.” It is humiliating to know that you have unintentionally been repulsing people all day.
Aunt Bossy even thinks it is a charitable act to let another person know if their breath brings back memories of dirty socks. All you have to do is be sure you carry breath mints, whip them out and say, “I think we can both use a breath mint.”
If you are close and have noticed your friend has a chronic problem, you might say, “You know, we all have bad breath once in a while, but I notice that your breath is bad on a regular basis, and besides being a drag for you, it has me worried. You should check with your dentist and doctor to be sure nothing is wrong.”
Yes, the bad breather may snap at you, but it is only because of embarrassment. You are strong and can take the risk.
Do unto others is the name of this game. Wouldn’t you want to know?
Dear Aunt Bossy,
Last fall I met a fellow and we hit it off. For four months we had a very promising romantic relationship. Before I met him, I had booked a European vacation, and we weren’t yet at the place where I could ask him to join me for two weeks, so off I went alone. He broke up with me by email the day I landed in London, which was the first day of my first trip to Europe. It was very sad, and it damaged a good trip.
When I returned, I went about my business and did not get in touch with him. Then, on Valentine’s Day, he sent me a card. I was confused and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t do anything. Today I got a text saying that he couldn’t stop thinking about me and missed me. What should I do?
It all depends on how much you like this cruel, thoughtless, immature jerk. However, before you do anything, get the book on borderline personalities. It is called “I Hate You. Don’t Leave Me.” It might be his biography.
He is not to be trusted and, to put in it delicate terms, is probably just anticipating a physical connection. If I were not such a lady, I’d probably say he is just horny, but that would be tacky.
You can do better.
Aunt Bossy is Susan Murphy, an internationally known Communication Skills Coach who adores spending every winter and spring in Beaufort. Ask for advice @ Bossymurph@mac.com.