Especially in these topsy turvy times, connecting with others of like mind from time to time is vitally important to assure that you’re not alone and that you’re not completely nuts. This viewpoint speaks from personal experience. Thank goodness, my close friends seem willing to step up to that particular plate whenever needed, and I, for them.

One of many reasons I treasure those connections has to do with perspective based on life experience. No matter how long – or short – our friendships may have been, we are all different in myriad ways, and that contributes to differing perspectives on everything from choosing a partner to manifesting parking places. I may have been performing a task, say, moving a piece of furniture gingerly without damaging the floor, one way that takes an eon, and a friend will offer, “Have you ever put a heavy object on a blanket and moved it that way? It’s so much easier.”

Is that a little thing? I think not!

That said, however, these are ideal times for mental and spiritual growth, for looking within yourself to determine what’s there that’s strong and working, as well as what could stand a bit of shoring up. If you’re not sure what this means, a personal example should clarify.

Before September of 2025, this once-well-traveled writer had only set foot on a plane one time since 2020. That particular flight had knocked me off kilter with a bout of Covid for an entire 10 days on Cape Cod. In autumn. A lovely time to explore that gorgeous section of the country. But not from a bed. My quarantine period had ended on the day I flew home. Let’s just say the experience left me with reservations about, not for, flying. Until I had the opportunity to visit Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, Utah, a couple of months ago. Making that trip had been a dream of mine since learning about the world renown safe haven for animals via its rescuing 22 of NFL championship quarterback Michael Vick’s most traumatized fighting dogs – named the Vicktory Dogs – to rehome and/or provide a home for in 2007.

I also knew about the sanctuary from my cousin Cyndi, who’s been volunteering there for 20 years and encouraging me to go. Finally, she said, “Want to go there with me this fall?” I said yes and then summoned up the courage to make the other kind of reservations. After much journaling, meditation, and prayer, I stepped into my fear and onto the plane for a wonderfully life-changing experience.

(More about Best Friends will appear in a future column. Stay tuned, por favor.)

Lordy, we writers can get wordy sometimes, but I hope the point of that digression was clear. In looking my self-limiting fear in the face and moving forward anyway, I reopened the door to traveling and moving into broadening my world view. That felt good.

The journey inward to get to know yourself better can be difficult but oh, so rewarding. Whatever you do, don’t try to take shortcuts in that process. Many different methods are available, and you get to choose the one or more that work best for you, including seeking professional help from a qualified counselor. Do your best to avoid comparing yourself to someone you admire enough to want to be like them. Tempting as that may be, it only gives the self-critic fodder for making you question your own capacities for success.

According to President and rollicking Rough Rider, Teddy Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This process has to be an internal one, taking an inventory inside you by you, for which there is no short cut. It’s about self-reliance and will grow your courage and self-esteem in ways you can’t imagine.

“Every man has his own courage and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of others,” so says Ralph Waldo Emerson in his famous essay, “Self-Reliance.”

Rather than careening through life seeking others you admire to emulate and focusing on what you don’t have, relying on yourself is an invitation to be present in each moment, to experience it to the fullest, and to serve the world. This gives you permission to perhaps take a leap and act from a place of abundance rather than one of lack and to be generous with your compassion, your love, and your joy. In embracing self-reliance, we trust ourselves to look to our own hopes and dreams, to offer our best to lift up others, and to honor every individual’s chosen highest path. In doing this, we serve the world by giving up the stories that do not follow our own true nature. Instead, we embrace curiosity and become engaged in our own precious lives.

Says Emerson, “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” And you’ll never know what that might be unless you go exploring.

That journey could start by asking yourself the following questions:

  • How do I take from myself by rushing through life?
  • How do I take from others by comparing myself to them?
  • How do I take from the earth?
  • How can I give to myself by taking the next step towards my hopes and dreams?
  • How can I give to others by celebrating their joy and purpose?
  • How can I give to the earth?

— From Devi Brown, Chief Impact Officer for the Chopra Center

Don’t be frustrated if you don’t yet know the answers. Asking a large question without knowing the answer is an act of faith, belief that at some point you will know it. Rather than “taking away” anything, begin to notice moments that arise to give to and value yourself, others, and the earth. Celebrate those. Learn from and honor them.

Artist, writer, and wise man, Brian Andreas, says, “The first and biggest step is believing the life you want is possible…”

Then all you have to do is go out and create it.