Allow me to introduce myself! I AM FASHIONGRANNY!
I take great pride in my title as I have earned it with the blood, sweat and tears that the Fashion Industry can put you through!
I survived! My credentials include: an over-extended stay in Roma, Italia for 20 years (starting in the 1960’s); working the runways of the best Fashion Houses in Europe, serving as a fitting model for Valentino, doing movies for Fellini… and throw in a few Spaghetti Westerns! I designed, manufactured and marketed my own accessories line for mainstream stores, moved to a cosmetics career of R&D and – whew! – purposefully landed here in Paradise to rest my broken heels in bliss and beauty!
Now, one might think that I would be finished with clothes and creams, but it ain’t so! I’m still driven to observe, critique and comment on all of the above, and – lucky me! – I now have the opportunity to answer questions about your personal fashion and the fashions of today!
A little tweaking from FASHIONGRANNY will have you looking and feeling better… and hopefully having some laughs while you’re posing!
IN THE RED…
Q. Dear FASHIONGRANNY,
Welcome Back and Happy Valentines Day!
Your short time fan has a dilemma, and it’s the same dilemma every year around this time. Midriff Bulge! At least that is what they called it back in my day!
My figure hasn’t rebounded – in the waist department – from the Thanksgiving eat-a-thon, and my knockout red Valentines Day dress doesn’t fit! I have a date! I’m frantic! I need a quick fix! (Also, is red passé?) You’re the FASHIONGRANNY. Help!
– Merry Widow
A. Dear Merry Widow,
Wow! Where did you come from? You have way too much energy for these parts! Frantic? Quick fix? Why, that’s city talk, young lady! This is the Lowcountry! We’re slow as molasses in January.
I’m excited to meet a gal who still observes a Holiday by dressing to meet its requirements. Let’s talk about the color red first!
On Valentines Day we think lovely thoughts, we give gifts, dress-up and dine out. Red is a passionate color, and men love red! Once a forbidden color for “ladies,” red was perceived as being worn only by hussies and Santa Claus! Yet, it’s a new day, and verboten is kumbayah!
Red can be beautiful; especially the right red for you! This is important, as the wrong red will sabotage your complexion and true beauty. Rose red, ruby red, blood red or Ferrari red… If you’re going to wear red, wear it now!
To answer to your Midriff Bulge” problem, one word: SPANX!
(By the way, we now call that problem, “Muffin Top.” You have a Muffin Top, Madam. Welcome to my world!)
Do not pass go, SPANX is your quick fix! If you don’t own a pair, buy two! If yours are old, buy a new pair. For those of you who don’t know about SPANX, all you need to know is that they work and they are not your Mother’s girdle! The best style I have found, covering a multitude of sins, is the “Power Panties” style. They appear to reduce you by inches, keeping your stuff from spilling out. I love them! (Do remember to hold your tummy in. anyway!) Have fun, Happy Valentines Day, and follow Miss Piggy’s diet advice: “Never eat more than you can lift!”
Contact FASHIONGRANNY with your questions and comments at firstname.lastname@example.org