shelley-lowther-newHave you ever heard the saying, “We become what we judge?”

When we judge someone, our behaviors begin to mirror what we judge.  For example, if you judge someone for a prejudice, you become prejudiced against them.  You may have started from a place of moral righteousness (caution!  warning!) but you eventually become the very thing you resent.



I have been thinking a lot about resentment this week.  The word is popping up everywhere.   At the studio, we are in the middle of our 40 Days to Personal Revolution, a program based on Baron Baptiste’s book of the same title, and one of our journal questions is, “Whom do I resent, and how is that resentment affecting me?”

Whether we care to admit it or not, we all resent someone (maybe even ourselves). I have heard variations of this quote attributed to many (from Buddha to Princess Leah, also known as Carrie Fischer) but I like the Nelson Mandela version the best:  “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Most of us don’t want our enemies to actually die, but maybe feel a little of what we felt.  Still, resentment bubbles up inside of us like a psychic dark ninja, ready to take us out of alignment and into the abyss.

So what to do?  Become a spiritual jiujitsu master and battle the physic dark ninja. Let go.

Easier said than done, I know.  Last week in Park City, Utah, I attended the Baptiste Affiliate Empowerment Summit, followed by Foundations in Action, and in my self-exploration and inquiry, I let go of resentment of a couple of people in my life.  Then I had to do it again the next day.  And again and again.

Letting go of resentment is not a one time event, just as transformation is not a one time event.  It is malleable, and changing.   And that dark cloaked resentment ninja is sneaky and determined.

Choose to accept things, as they are and as they are not.    Let go of resentment.  Resenting an apple for being an apple is a waste of time.  Step outside of your comfort zone of what you know “IS” and approach things from a place of “seems like” instead.  If you loosen up your judgment and your point of view, you open things up to change – you can commit to growth.  You can give up being right, and start being happy.

I want to leave you with one final thought from my most recent training in Park City – a thought from Parker Pearson, Director of Leadership Development with Lululemon Athletica:

“When we forgive, we are the primary recipients.”

Feel like a spiritual jiujitsu master yet?


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