laplumeDear L. A.,

I sent a wedding gift to the child of a dear friend; it was delivered by hand by his mother several months before the wedding, which was in September. I have yet to receive an acknowledgement. I was told by the couple that they had three months after the wedding to send their thank you notes, but that date has since past. I find this is very rude, is there anything I can/should do?



Dear Miffed,

Since you know the gift arrived, that is not your concern. If you want to be in the education business, and think it will make a difference, or make you feel better, you have a few choices. Call the couple and ask if they received the gift. Or send a self-addressed postcard with a little questionnaire on the back; with check off boxes such as:

• Did you receive the gift?      yes       no


If the answer to the above is yes, please answer the following question. If no, please file a claim with your mother who hand delivered it to you.


• Did you like the gift?       yes         no


If the answer to the above is yes, please answer the following question. If no, forget it.


• Do you ever want me to send you another gift such as: anniversary, first child, etc.   yes     no


If the answer to the above question is yes, mail this postcard back to me and if you want a nice gift the next time, attach a note.




Dear Ms. Plume,

When is it acceptable, after making a dating connection on-line, and meeting in person, to allow the “date” to pick you up at your house rather than continuing to meet in a public place? I’ve heard stories about seemingly “nice” men who aren’t so nice when they get into your house, and now I’m even a bit more skittish about being safe.



Dear B.B.

Meeting people with whom you have no personal connection is relatively uncharted territory. Almost anyone who has a computer can do a search and find your address, so it’s not a matter of just not telling someone where you live until you are ready and consider the situation “safe.”

More to the point is when you choose to invite someone into your space. Finding love is touted as taking chances, but there is always a line that needs to be drawn with personal safety. Some sort of home security system that has an alarm or panic button, both in the house and on some remote device, is a good option. A gun is good also, maybe a few guns, although that carries certain inherent requirements;  one being that you know how and when to use it.  A handy can of hairspray, or long range bee spray, sprayed into someone’s eyes can buy you a bit of time to get away or make a phone call if necessary. Another suggestion is that you introduce him to a few of your trusted friends for review, but that’s not a sure thing either. Just be careful, because no amount of time gives you a guarantee.

L.A. Plume


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