Author: L.A. Plume

Christmas cards seem to be the topic under discussion these days. Should we send them? Should they be Holiday cards instead? Is it okay to send them electronically? How about addressing them with pre-printed labels instead of by hand?

Dear L. A. Plume, I have been invited to a friend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. This is a lovely invitation as my family lives far away and I would otherwise be alone. However, she is inviting several people I don’t really know – one that I don’t care for – and she isn’t the best of cooks. She wants to prepare every dish herself, giving none of us the opportunity to contribute a favorite food of our own, and she expects me to be her kitchen helper. She is a recovering alcoholic so there won’t even be any wine to dull the pain or encourage cheerfulness, depending upon your outlook.

Dear Ms. Plume, A dear friend of mine is dating a new person and he, the friend, seems quite happy. She, on the other hand, has tried to worm her way into my confidence so she can get more personal information about him. I have no problem in skirting the questions she asks about his past relationships etc., but the issue is that in her quest to become my “new best friend,” she is telling me way too much about their intimate relationship.

Dear Ms. Plume, I have just moved down this way from the mid-west and have happened onto what I find to be an interesting phenomenon. I’ve had a gentleman caller recently, and every so often he wanders out into the driveway and gets something out of his truck. He’s come back in with a fresh beer, a clean shirt, a tin of cookies, among other things. Just what is going on? Melle

Dear L. A. Plume, I have a dear old friend who now lives halfway across the country. On occasion, when we happen to be in the same place, he and his wife meet me for dinner. Being old school, he refuses to ever let me pay; although we don’t see each other that often, I have gotten to the point where I am not comfortable with that arrangement and would like to do something in return. We go to restaurants of his choosing where he is known, so my trying to get the check in advance doesn’t work, and would be an embarrassment to him. Any suggestions?   Patty

Dear L. A. Plume, In the dating world these days it seems that women want to be heard, while men want to express their feminine side. How do we know who pays, who walks whom to the car or door, without offending someone’s sensibilities? Pat

Dear L. A. Plume,   It’s that time of year again here – when my extended family wants to come visit and go to the beach. I’m really not all that keen on having house guests on the best of days because I’m a bit of a curmudgeon and I like my routine. Tell me, Ms. Plume, is it really necessary for me to make the beds, stock the refrigerator with all sorts of stuff they like but I don’t eat, prepare meals, do the dishes, and then have to strip all the beds, wash the towels and linens, and take the trash away, because I’m the closest thing they have to a free hotel? Or is it okay to let them share in some of the above chores?   Frank(ly) Tired of Freeloaders at Fripp

Dear L. A. Plume, I understand a bit about text messaging on cell phones – that abbreviations allow for more words, that text messages cost money so the shorter/quicker the better. But I am not of the age, nor are most of my friends, at which texting is the preferred method of communication. So here is what I don’t understand and makes me crazy: perfectly well educated, grown up people, using texting “language” in emails. If they can’t just pick up the phone and have a bit of a nice, chatty conversation, can’t they do any better than: “How R U 2day?” (It reminds me of vanity license plates, which, by the way, have the same effect on me.) How can I get these people to write in normal words?”  Betty

Dear Ms. Plume, Last week we invited our new neighbors over for dinner with their little boy. The parents insisted that he would be fine sitting in front of the television with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich they had thoughtfully brought for him. All was well until he came into the dining room to tell his parents that he had wanted his sandwich toasted and had put it into the VCR in an attempt to do so. Needless to say, that was pretty much the end of the VCR; the parents have offered to replace it, should we accept? Luanne

  Dear L. A. Plume, I met a woman at a social networking event and it seemed like we might have a lot in common, so we’ve gotten together a few times. Although she is very pleasant, she has the social skills of a lemming. She calls me all the time and she wants to go everywhere I go. I think I may be her only friend, and I can see why. She speaks without seeming to think, asks inappropriate and personal questions, and has strong opinions on most everything, but no knowledge of the actual facts. I find her behavior embarrassing and annoying and wish to disassociate myself from her but prefer not to hurt her feelings. What can I do??  Pat