Waiting for the Dough
Dear Aunt Bossy,
I am a hardworking waitress in a restaurant that I love. We share tips. However , there is a downside.
There is one waiter who the clients love because he “chats them up.” In the meantime, we have to pick up the slack when other tables he should be covering need help. The service standard is very high and it is challenging to make up for his need to entertain and be admired for something other than his ability to get an order to a table quickly and professionally.
He is also disgusting. We do not need to know which part of his body is shaved, whether or not he had a bris, or to see him changing his uniform. Ugh.
He looks great, the clients love him, but he is just so nerve wracking. I am guessing there is nothing I can do about him, but I just wanted to see if you have any ideas.
Frustrated Female
Dear FF,
There is not much you can do. However, when it comes to his sharing of his personal hygiene preferences and his exhibitionism, you could say something to him. Legally, he is walking on thin ice. But, why? You would only create an enemy.
I am assuming you aren’t a tender little flower who is brought to a screeching halt by men behaving like insecure men do. If you are, go ahead and make a fuss, but be prepared for the backlash. You don’t sound like that kind of woman, so I don’t have to tell you to get real and grow up.
Hang in there. If you are making good money, just keep reminding yourself that you are fortunate that you are more mature than he is and you don’t have to live with him. If not, there are other restaurants.
Common Sense: The world is full of all kinds of folk.
Good Manners: Not having good manners disturbs others, as he proves.
Discipline: It takes a lot of power not to wring some people’s neck.
Genus: Envy
Dear Aunt Bossy,
I am a very lucky person and even though my life is far from perfect, it looks great, and I keep running into people who are jealous of me. What can I do so this doesn’t happen?
Confused.
Dear Confused,
Another easy answer today. Be stupid, ugly and poor. No more problem with envy.
However, you don’t have to give up people who are jealous if you like them anyway.
We all look around and see people who are smarter, richer, prettier, and more talented than we are, and wish we were more like that. That emotion is normal and pervasive. When it gets ugly is when folks let simple envy boil up into resentment and snap or lash out at the human reminder of their inadequacies.
If you care for someone who treats you poorly once in a while because of what you might have that they don’t, ignore it and be especially kind to them. We have all been there, at least in spirit.
The lesson for you – and for all of us – is to remember that everyone on the planet suffers from something at one time or another, if not all the time. No one gets off scott-free, and no one has it “easy.” What looks like a perfect life from the outside may have a completely different view from the inside. Look at the Kennedy family if you need more proof.
Be grateful every second for your good fortune, do not give into the same base instincts that others use to hurt you, and think how you would feel if you were they looking out at you. We are all handicapped.
Common Sense: The grass always looks greener.
Good Manners: Controlling your emotions helps others feel better about themselves.
Discipline: It is very difficult not to snap back at those being mean to you.
