I did not acquire a bachelor’s degree in the field of criminal justice nor political science. I never registered to take the LSAT (Law School Admission Test). There is no plaque on my wall commemorating the achievement of obtaining a Juris Doctor. I have not been acquainted with the long nights of studying and the stress inducing internal disposition associated with passing the bar examination. I’ve neglected to conduct any legal research in respect to preparing documents in assistance to any judge in the form of a clerkship. You won’t find any record of me trying a single case. Therefore, I’ve missed out on the opportunity to be elected or appointed to a judicial seat.
With all the above being true, who am I to judge?
I am a great contradiction at times. My subconscious acting as the judge, jury, and executioner to the souls I encounter daily. The nerve of me. Shouldn’t he who is without sin cast the first stone? Yet, my throwing arm could rifle a two-seam fast ball straight down the plate so fast that I would have MLB scouts fainting in infatuated disbelief like starstruck Elvis Presly fans. All the while, I am three connecting flights, a train ride, and an Uber away from being “sinless.” Quite honestly, more times than not, I find myself being judgmental (in my head) to people who are doing the same things I have done in some form or another during some part of my life.
In order to counterbalance my preconceived deranged episodes of saint like virtuoso where I somehow forget all the mistakes, cruel words, missed opportunities, and incredulous actions I have taken part in, I prompt my subconscious with a question: “What if every harsh word you have every spoken to another, every mistake you have made, every lie you’ve ever told, the lowest points of your life, and the most unsavory actions you have undertaken were all put on the world’s largest jumbotron and played on repeat for the entire world to see? Would you still be so judgmental of others?”
When I think about every man, woman, and child in the world being able to see the not so amazing parts of me and my life on repeat, it instantaneously humbles me. I’m honestly so far from perfect that the idea of perfection might as well be in a different dimension than I am. So then why do I hold others to standards that I know I have continually failed to maintain myself? Why do any of us do it?
Fathers are angry at the boys that break their daughters’ hearts, yet those same fathers have broken countless hearts on their way to emotional maturity. People who have been unfaithful in the past dishonor their experience by passing judgment onto others who are being unfaithful in the present. We’ve all shown up late somewhere. We have all hurt others, intentionally or not. We have all failed. We have all implemented the irreproachable resolutions of our unhealed traumas to a gentle world. I’m sure lies both white and sordid have passed from the lips of most of us at some point or another. Rational or not, we have all had reasons and excuses for straying away from the straight and narrow even if by a degree.
As I began to heal my soul and mature, I found that injustice, gossip, fear, inconsiderate actions, and unconscious comportments made my stomach turn, all the while forgetting that I was seeing an aspect of my unhealed self in another. I don’t believe that any one of us, before we are born, sits in some sort of hyperbaric soul chamber selecting negative aspects of our psyche and experiences that we want to bring into the world: “anger…check, impatience…check, alcoholism…of course, abusive parent…why not?, abandonment issues…sounds awesome!” I must remind myself that everyone is simply trying to keep it together amid floating around on a rock in the middle of vast nothingness.
We are each charged with the task of overcoming our fears and traumas in hopes of reaching a more unified connection with the highest version of ourselves. If we are being honest and accountable on this journey of salvation, we understand that when we focus on the shortcomings of others, we highlight the short comings within ourselves. Some of the things I have done in the past I would never do today. A higher part of me understands that even today, some of the worries and reactions I have are beneath me. The key to growth is accountability within oneself. What someone else is doing or being has absolutely nothing to do with me in most cases.
The more I remind myself of my own imperfections, the easier it has become for me to navigate through life with peace. I have been broken and I have been healed. I have been a liar and have spoken and lived my truth. I have been unfair, and I have been kind. I have missed so many opportunities that I could be the poster boy for failure; “come on down to earth where when you fail 1,000 times, you’ll still get 1,001 opportunities,” yet I still get up and try again. If I can be all things iniquitous and the Divine can still work with and through me, then anything is possible for anyone who is at any point in his/her life. Everyone is therefore exactly where they need to be on their own path at this exact moment.
Life is a journey that resembles a book. When we read an adventure novel, we don’t stop at chapter two and close the book because we don’t like how the main character behaves; we keep reading and we keep growing with the hero/heroine. At the end of the novel, we gain a better understanding of that character and hopefully ourselves as well. When you pass judgment onto others you are only observing a very particular and passing part of a very long and arduous journey. What rational scientist makes a conclusion when only given a small percentage of all the factors involved in the experiment?
Judge not because it’s the holy thing to do. Judge not because everything and everyone will be okay in the end and if it’s not okay right now, it is not the end.
