By Jared Madison
Cambridge Dictionary online gives the following definition for accountability: “the fact of being responsible for what you do and able to give a satisfactory reason for it, or the degree to which this happens.”
Typing, “monster” in the same search section asserts, “any imaginary frightening creature, especially one that is large and strange.”
The welding of the two words creates a responsibly frightening creature; perhaps an overprotective mother’s ideal Build-A-Bear workshop creation, yet our souls are not made of soft cotton. The essence of our truth is embedded with the inherent spirit of The Gods. Not stuffing indeed, but the stuff that the stars and the Universe are made of. Still, a part of us, perhaps the biggest part of us may, at times, be hidden from our own consciousness as we look out, all the while forgetting to look within.
The Accountability Monster is my attempt to take back control of my internal peace in an uncertain world. I’ve heard the words “it seems like nothing ever rattles you” so much so that I have to double check my name tag at work several times a day. However, the contrary is more closely related to my truth; honestly, most things “rattle” me or frustrate me or irritate me. But I have a frightening creature at my disposal, one that always gives a satisfactory reason for what happens to me, to such an extent that I feel responsible for all of my life’s trials and tribulations.
“What is my part in this?” is my internal question whenever the t-ball coach pitcher of my life decides to throw a 90-mile-per-hour curve ball at me. I believe everything has to be a gift or an opportunity if it shows up in my life and even though someone outside of myself may seem to be “wrong,” from my perspective, I must be accountable for how I react and for how I perceive.
I am either a slave or a savior in my story; should being molested at 5 years old influence my ability to be emotionally mature and vulnerable with my romantic partner at 35 years old? The Accountability Monster snarls and growls at this, its disposition reflects a lion stalking its prey. The opportunity the hunt creates is food. When we eat, we grow. Growth reflects evolution. If I take this perceived wrong-doing as an opportunity for growth, then I can evolve. If I am always evolving with each and every experience of life, every day, all the time, then at some point I will be so far away from the idea of suffering that suffering will cease to exist to me; this is what peace is.
Perhaps you’ve been playing the victim without making any effort to do something to change your own life. If you’re late for work, don’t get mad at people driving slowly, leave earlier. If you’re unhappy with your job, find a new one, or become your own boss. If you think life is unfair, create a world that is fair for yourself. If you fail, try again. If you fail then, try once more. If it isn’t working, find another way to do it. Invoking The Accountability Monster quite simply means that you refuse to be a slave to the things happening to you. Instead, you decide to happen to life. If don’t like something, you either change it or you change yourself.
You may experience unpleasant things in your life that are outside of your control. But what is, and what will always be, in your control is how you react to these things. This is the lesson of The Accountability Monster. Healing and Heaven are both up to you. If you are experiencing it, you have a part in it. Your perception and willingness to be responsible for what you do and your ability to give a satisfactory reason for it will be your saving grace.
A native of Chicago Ill, Jared Madison is a self-proclaimed “New Renaissance Man,” as he strives to be a student and master of diversly different aspects of life. From being a Reiki practitioner to earning a degree in physics, Jared is a true student of life. He describes “creativity” as his superpower. He is a contracted photographer, graphic designer, poet and writer. Also possessing an entrepreneurial spirit, he will be launching his streetwear clothing brand online shop in early 2024. For fun Jared loves to travel, ride roller coasters, and eat good food.