The meditator breathes in and says, “Hello my fear, my anger, my despair. I will take good care of you.” –Thich Nhat Hanh
“Let go of the need to defend yourself and prepare to offer peace,” a good friend of mine channeled in her last remote reading on me. She was blessedly thorough in her four-page reading, but this was the pearl of wisdom I needed. Letting go of the need to defend one’s self can be interpreted many ways, but I chose to view it as a primarily internal battle rather than some sort of unfortunate physical altercation.
Indignancy gets the blood pumping, does it not? Why must we always have a chip on our shoulder? Why must we have someone tell us we can’t before we do? I ask these questions for duty’s sake. It’s my duty and privilege to be able to point out alternatives with the nature of this column. Many great things have been achieved via chippiness and because someone was made to feel less than until they proved they weren’t. All respect to those accomplishments. Doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement in a whole other area that’s not so result-driven. We have to be meticulously aware of how we live our labels.
I’m proposing a challenge: Lay down the sword of the “chosen one.” The one chosen to be disrespected. The one chosen to be too small, too slow, too dim, too hot-headed, too ugly, too pretty, too much, too whatever.
Do we really need that chip on our shoulder? The burden gets heavy sometimes, does it not? Be grateful to the chip for choosing you. Do not exclude the chip from the party, it just doesn’t need the bullhorn all the time. Dare to evolve in a different, more subjective direction where you have the power of, I know what I know. Always needing the last word is not an indicator of being at peace knowing what you know, so begin at the beginning and allow another the last word.
Here’s a recent example of when I’m glad I gave a friend the last word: Just when I thought I couldn’t conceive of another angle in my opinion of the Weather Channel, a friend of mine pointed out the fact that their coverage causes people to donate and help those in need. I have scar tissue from recent storms and this past storm brought it back to the surface. Two things can be true at the same time: The folks at the Weather Channel seem to get off from and delight in the death and destruction of Mother Nature’s process. I think they’re worse at fear mongering than all other news outlets combined. Yes, even worse than Fox News. My friend is also correct in her assertion and I thanked her for her vantage point.
Remember that sometimes limitation is power. Limitation will spark your innovative capabilities. I know from personal experience that I wrote a novel during my sleep-deprived golden era of Mr. Momming our infant daughter who is now thirteen.
Train yourself to see life through the lens of non-judgement. Win the lottery? That’s good, right? Maybe. Wreck your car? That’s bad, right? Maybe. Divine timing will reveal all in good time. As an example of a car wreck that turned out wonderfully, I officiated a wedding of a couple that met because of a car wreck. The groom banged up his future mother-in-law when she pulled out in front of him. She recovered nicely and he met his future wife in the ER. As far as I know, they’re still together.
Ever thought you were relaxed only to realize your jaw had been clenched for the last 9 minutes? Why 9? You’ll remember the question more than if I had typed ten. Remember that contraction comes before the expansion—before the jaw loosens and you feel aha. Go within.
Do you recall Pollyanna and her “Glad Game”? If not, Pollyanna basically looked for the good in any situation or person. Let’s take her wisely innocent game a step further into the realm of manifestation. Set aside the idea of a “Prestige Worldwide” vision board with Lambos, yachts, and mansions for a second and consider peace of mind as the ultimate wealth. Intend to manifest self-love. Determine to manifest better coping skills. Ask for help in believing people early on when they tell you who they are. Leopards and their spots… You’ll need better listening skills, at that. Hmm? Tell me a healthy dose of self-acceptance wouldn’t go a long way to a better night’s sleep. Manifest how to create a sense of belonging, even if it is simply feeling like you belong in your own skin.
As a child, I feared the movie Pollyanna because she got paralyzed in the end. No surprise, I was, and still am, a sensitive person. It’s fascinating watching a movie as an adult that you haven’t seen since childhood. That said, I intend to stop apologizing, if only to myself, for the glass is half-full naivety that makes me me.
As an aside, I much prefer another Hayley Mills’ Disney movie classic, The Parent Trap. As a matter of fact, it’s my favorite movie of all time. It combines comedy, good, clean fun, and a golden age of Hollywood vibe. Love me some Brian Keith and Maureen O’Hara, the legendary actors that played Hayley Mills’ parents. Hell, smoking didn’t even hurt you back then. Doctors even had their recommended cigarette labels.
Life is destination unknown with change as our only constant. Thank goodness certain things did not remain. Give me a second helping of Pollyanna Syndrome please.
Special thanks to my writing partner, Katherine Brown (KTB) for mentioning Pollyanna so much I had to break down and watch it again.