As we enter this awkward period of time between the end of football season and golf season ramping up, I’ve come to realize the power of awkwardnitity. (Yes, I made that word up. I’m a trailblazer among all the reformed Fraternity boys out there.) Before we know it, we’ll be in the heart of the Florida swing that leads into the promise of Spring and the azaleas of Augusta, Georgia.
Why all the sports references when I write this column? In the words of the great tennis player, Billie Jean King, “Sports is a microcosm for society.” Winners and losers. Underdogs and overachievers. Villains and heroes. Elite and blue collar. Besides, I much prefer the politics of the sports world rather than the politics one normally thinks of. To the point: Let’s focus on the micro to work on larger issues.
It just took a little bitty turf toe to make Patrick Mahomes look human, therefore awkward, in the most recent Super Bowl. Even at that, Patrick Mahomes’ “human” makes other, even top-tier quarterbacks in the NFL, look like Dwayne Haskins signing autographs before the game was over, but I digress. Awkward builds into larger issues. What would be the effects on Mahomes’ and the Kansas City Chief’s game if he didn’t have surgery on that pesky big toe? As Mahomes ages, assuming he is indeed human, what would be affected in his everyday life if he didn’t have surgery in the off-season?
Why have I coined the word “awkwardnitity”? It has awkward in it and the sound at the end reminds me of nudity. Don’t worry, I’m only asking you to bare your soul to yourself. Only… Often times, it’s the most difficult to be honest with ourselves. And the hard part is that we know ourselves so well, we know exactly what lies and half-truths to tell ourselves to keep ourselves where we are. It’s that perceived position of strength from the comfort of all that dookie that we at Wholly Holistics desire to highlight for your highest and best.
Also, “awkwardnitity” isn’t quite a gaping wound, is it? We focus so much on the devastating mental or physical injuries that we ignore or scoff at the possibility of death by a thousand paper cuts. Can a person’s Spirit not be shredded years before actual death?
I’m asking you to relax into the awkward silence then forgive yourself for not relaxing until you can relax. Take as much time as you need. You have your whole life. A question to ask yourself that may seem obvious, but is also awkward is this: Is said awkwardnitity yours? Often, we carry other people’s poop for them. Realization of that fact can be enlightening. White flags of surrender are not always shameful. Knowing which battles to end or thwart is the basis for wisdom. As an aside, please don’t mistake wisdom for intelligence or academic achievement. I’ve met some dumb*** doctors and lawyers in my time.
While we’re on this nebulous subject of awkwardnitity, I did some channeled writing the other day for a client. Naturally, a subject that often comes up is that pesky and elusive concept of forgiveness.
Awkward as it may be, forgiveness is about respect. Respecting your sanity and well-being above all others. Respect that you are tired of unwieldy s***. Respect that you need rest. Respect that you need peace. Respect that the Collective (whatever sense you want to apply to “collective” fits) benefits from your peace.
Respect is NOT about squashing your awkward, embarrassing pain. Of course, you don’t have to trot it all out for the world to see. It only matters that you feel it in your beautiful heart.
In the words of the most recent winner on tour at Riviera, “Forgive yourself.” Max Homa shot a bogie-free 66 at one of the hardest tests on the PGA Tour. It would have been easy to get down on himself for missing a kick-in birdie putt to defeat one of the tour’s favorite sons in Tony Finau. Instead, Homa’s wife reminded him of that awkward thing called forgiveness. He went on to defeat Finau on the second playoff hole and receive the trophy from host, Tiger Woods, in Hollywood. (I wrote these words hours before learning of Tiger’s devastating car crash. May the Force be with him and his family.)
Sounds silly, but consider forgiving yourself for NOT forgiving yourself until you can forgive yourself. It’s okay, it’s not time yet. Notice what relaxation that can bring? Then notice how quickly we shift to the next problem or how quickly we dismiss this progressas too easy.
Often, I say to send love to some issue or another. The concept of “sending” or praying, in this manner, comes from my Reiki training days. Love has so many facets. Understand I’m not referring to Dirty Dancing or Disney movie love. One pearl of wisdom I’ll share here regarding love: Regardless of its type, love doesn’t feel awkward. Let’s say that again, Love doesn’t feel awkward. That’s a pearl I would have liked to have had in my teen years.
Speaking of teen years, how do we, as a human race, survive that awkwardnitity? I often say, I think it’s a miracle in and of itself that we do survive this period of our lives. It’s fraught with landmines and we think we’re adults, but we’re really just toddlers stuck in adult bodies, trying to stick our fingers, or whatever else, in light sockets. See, it is possible to survive, then thrive from awkwardnitity.
Back to the title. We haven’t spoken much about surrender, so we’re now going to combine the two words of the title. As we progress in the art of meditation, we want to have goals aside from Zenning out. What does that accomplish anyway? No surprise, but one of my goals is to observe what comes up and what feels awkward. If you feel it, it’s an opportunity to heal. Does it feel stupid? It might, but love it anyway. Accept the fact that the cringe-worthy moment may forever be on your heart. How? Has trying to squash it all those years worked yet? Didn’t think so. So instead of doing what you’ve always done, love it and surrender to its raw awkwardnitity. Do we make fun of toddlers for stumbling like a drunk person? Of course not, that’s what toddlers do. They toddle. By the same token, that’s what humans do. Just be . . .