laplumeDear Ms. Plume,
Will your work never be done? Friends of many years recently used my apartment in the city. They proudly told me they had rearranged my furniture for me and purchased a toaster. But I liked my furniture where it was and I never eat toast. On my next visit to the city I put the furniture back where it belongs. They did ask if they might use the apartment again but I have forgotten to reply.
Mr. X


Dear Mr. X.,
This, somehow, does not sound like a question. Just don’t send them a loaf of sliced bread for Christmas; they might interpret it as an invitation.

Dear L.A. Plume,
What can be done about people who come to a party at your house and then paste photos of it all over social media? A private party should be just that, shouldn’t it?
Has Privacy Issues

Dear Has Privacy Issues,
I am the granny panty of social media when it comes to things like that. I get the curmudgeon award because it so annoys me that I must admit to making a fuss about it. I don’t want people to see the inside of my house unless I have invited them to do so, for security as well as social reasons. But more so, I think it hurts people’s feelings when they weren’t invited; it seems pointed, even if it wasn’t.

I have forwarded this question to people who are more invested in social media than I am for another opinion, and this is the response from Miss Missy:

“With all the recent security info I’ve been reading about pictures on FB, I am stopping any photos showing details in a house; they say there are folks who do nothing but look for places to rob. Another thing – turn off the gps location on your phone; if that is activated and you take a pic, these bad guys can immediately tell where you are, even though you did not say, then they can bring up 3D pictures of your entire house and location. Terrible isn’t it? It just isn’t safe for anyone to have all that info out there; plus, it is public domain and they can do anything with those photos that they want to.”

Here is what Loves Facebook has to say:

“Well, you should add that ‘crime prevention experts’ advise against posting such photos, and that ‘non social media’ guests feel ambushed by the constant photo taking . . . and that this is becoming a chronic problem in our age, extending to luncheons/dinners at public places where people of a certain social group aren’t invited (when they’d have thought they would be), or work functions /social events that only a select few were invited to . . . and, humorously, you could add that certain people may not want to make their date for an occasion quite so public! I hope that helps. This is such an ongoing problem, especially in a small town where it is hard enough to have any privacy or keep anything on the down-low!”

Well, maybe I’m not the only granny panty in the group after all! People really should ask if they can post your picture, or send them to you for approval before posting.
L. A. Plume

Dear L.A. Plume,
I have been “dating” on social media websites, and have met, in person, some very interesting men . . . and some not so interesting men, to put it mildly. What is a polite way to tell a man that I’m not interested?

Dear Curious,
Since my experience with Internet dating is not illustrious, I have asked my local guru, and this is the response from the Dating Diva:

“Just tell them that, while they are very nice and you have enjoyed meeting them, time is of the essence, and that it isn’t their fault, but there just isn’t any chemistry. Or that you are leaving the country and will let them know when you get back, maybe in a year.”

That works for me; thank you, Dating Diva.
L. A. Plume