Author: L.A. Plume

Dear L. A. Plume,I received an email invitation to a party. I’m a single person and the invitation doesn’t contain information about whether or not I can/should bring a guest. Should I just assume that I can, or do I ask the hosts?Kendra

Dear L. A. Plume,I was browsing in a bookstore with a friend who was soon to be employed there. She introduced herself to the cashier and he said, seemingly apropos of nothing, “I’m a friend of Bill.” She responded by saying, “Oh, so am I.”

Dear L. A. Plume,A friend wants me to travel with her for a couple of weeks and I like the idea. We haven’t traveled together before so I don’t know how comfortable I’ll be sharing a hotel room with her; I snore, she stays up late reading, I don’t like to sleep with the lights on, etc. How can we find out if this is going to work before we embark on a journey? I don’t want to hurt the friendship.Jane

Dear L. A. Plume, She’s done it again. She accepted an invitation to a birthday party being given for me, but didn’t invite me to hers. And what may be even worse is that she tried to pretend she invited me. I don’t think calling the evening of the party and saying, “Are you coming tonight; I haven’t heard from you?!” counts as an invitation, do you?

Dear L.A. Plume, I live near the entrance to the new walking trail, and as I was driving by the other day I noticed a woman walking her dog and allowing it to urinate all over the new plants.

  Dear L. A. Plume, A service man came to fix something at my house the other day and, by the end of his visit, he had determined he couldn’t fix it. BUT when he left, he held out his hand to me. I’m thinking it wasn’t to shake hands – which is exactly what I did because: 1) Why would I tip him for a job not done?, and 2) He certainly didn’t do anything over and above what he was being paid for by his employer. Who do we tip and when? It’s so confusing, and with the holidays, even more so. Patrice

Dear L. A. Plume, I’m sitting next to you on an airplane and the two older gentlemen behind us are chatting away – they are discussing, endlessly, life at the College of Charleston, the farms on which they grew up, animals they had as children, a friend who died of prostate cancer after three years, a first visit to Wal-Mart, and the TV series The Gilmore Girls.

Dear L. A. Plume, It’s only X number of days until we go to the polls to elect the President for the next 4 years.  I plan to vote; I’ve been voting for 44 years now.  I even (gasp!) know for whom I’ll cast my ballot.  It’s bad enough that I get umpteen calls at dinnertime with recordings of famous folk urging me to vote for their favorites, I just don’t answer!  My issue, however, is that I have friends who are involved in campaigns who, in social situations, at dinner parties etc., pressure me to say how I’ll vote, and if I decline to reveal my preference, bend my ear endlessly to persuade me to vote their ticket. Sarah

Dear L. A. Plume, I read with great interest all your columns and am especially fond of the ones about guests. Thought you might enjoy my experience, which unfortunately ends with these guests not being “invited back” – ever. Catherine

  (But not at dinner, via text message…)   Dear Ms. Plume, I have been following with interest your responses to questions about the etiquette of the r.s.v.p., but nobody seems to be paying attention. I am so very tired of extending invitations to which people simply do not respond!