Dear Aunt Bossy,

 A group of us are very concerned about a friend and don’t know what to do. 

 He is in his early 80s and has started forgetting important things, is confused about many aspects of daily life, and, in our non-expert opinions, is in need of care.

 He is a widower living alone with no children and will not listen to any suggestion from any of us that he consider assisted living, either in a facility or at home. 

 We love him.  What can we do?

 Aging, too


Dear Aging, too,

You are right, age is definitely a challenge, and we really need others to support us in that strange journey.  Your friend is very lucky to have a group who cares about him.

I don’t have an answer for you.  I think you should consult a lawyer.  You may have to get government agencies involved, but shouldn’t do that without legal advice to protect your friend.  If he belongs to a church, you might want to turn to them for help as well.

Good luck. You are fine people to want to help, and this is a very tough situation.



Dear Aunt Bossy,

 I am witnessing a group of women who are devoted to destroying someone who used to be a good friend.  They lie, gossip, twist truth, and seek out others whom they hurt deeply in their desire to make their ex-friend look bad.

 Why would someone do this?



Dear Appalled,

It is disconcerting to see humans acting like animals fighting over a piece of meat in the jungle.  I have no idea how anyone could get pleasure from hurting others.

The most logical explanation is that they feel threatened by this person, or sense they are not up to the other person’s level, and want to prove their worth by making the other one wrong.  It’s common. It’s pathetic, and is usually obvious to observers.

My husband used to tell me that if a person treats you a certain way, you can be sure he or she treats others that way too.  My advice for you, and anyone aware of this behavior, is to avoid these poor folks, and avoid anyone who subsidizes their behavior.  Life is too short.