Everybody Loses

Dear Aunt Bossy,

I grew up in a diverse neighborhood and school, have hired people of every color, and have never judged people by anything other than how they behaved as individuals.  I have worked to help the less fortunate, and attended protests to object to events I think are racist.

Recently, my daughter has taken to accusing me of being racist.  I wouldn’t let her go to Spring Break in Miami. She thinks that is racist. I won’t praise WAP because I think it is demeaning to women and Blacks.  She thinks that is racist.  In fact, practically everything I do she thinks is racist.  What can I do?  This is driving us apart.



Dear Jeannie,

I have no idea what you, or any of us who are assumed to be racists with no thought or action to back up the accusation can do.  Just keep being who you are, and hope your daughter grows up and understands that her attitude and the attitude of those who think as she does are actually CREATING racism where it didn’t exist.

I know it is painful, especially because you love your daughter, but experience has shown me that all the “conversation” in the world just makes things worse.

Aunt Bossy


 Friendly AND Familiar

Dear Aunt Bossy,

I have fallen madly in love with a long-time friend who does not feel the same way.  I want us to remain friends.  What should I do?

Foolish Fran.

Dear Fran,

I won’t call you foolish because this is something you probably couldn’t help.  Here is my advice:  Do nothing differently than you have been doing for the length of your friendship and get busy to find something or someone else to distract you.

I didn’t say this would be easy.  Madly in love can come and go.  Friendship shouldn’t.

Be strong.  And, for Pete’s sake:  NO touching.

Aunt Bossy