“Ignorance is the parent of fear.” –Melville
Winston Churchill once talked about the truth having a “bodyguard of lies.” I believe he was referring to the inflatable, stick-figured army General Patton once “commanded” to draw attention away from the Allied’s true landing location for the D-Day invasion on June 6, 1944. I mean, why wouldn’t our true destination be Calais, France, the closest point from the UK to France? This answer should be as obvious as why we often lie to ourself over the silliest things. Fine, I’ll connect the dots: Diversion tactics! Misinformation is a thing…
Are we all so different individually? Perhaps a better way to think of therapy, both traditional and my brand of therapy, is not so much discovering yourself, but accepting yourself. Offer that anxiety, and whatever else s***y s**t you have, a comfortable place to sit and take a load off. Yep, that bodyguard of lies, too. After all, it’s life and death, isn’t it? We can, at least, agree that it’s possibly an inflatable tank rather than a real one coming at you.
Remember that the bodyguards we all employ, to one degree or the next, are a huge reason to stay out of another’s story. You’ve got enough self-deception to sort out on your own, don’t you?
Well, if it’s a silly little white lie, why should it matter? Okay, well, how far does your fear drive you? Not sure, are you? Self-deception is a slippery-slope, so it needs no help. This is an often-overlooked portion of self-discipline. Start each day asking the question of where the diversion tactics are. Am I surrounded by a$$holes or have I allowed myself to be seduced by one flanking movement—one faint, after another?
It’s best to have a disciplined curiosity about life. If you’re meditatively disciplined about brain candy, there’s no need to fear it—no need to deem it the scourge that must be scoured at all costs. Out, out, damned spot! It’s okay that it’s a worthless Werther’s Original. (I actually have nothing against Werther’s, it just flowed. Please don’t send me a werthy complaint. It reminds me of my grandfather, so good memories. Haven’t had one in years, though.)
Superstition is too cute until it’s not. What does that mean? If you’re in the NFL, for instance, it’s okay to use the same jock strap since middle school. I don’t recommend that, but it’s okay, albeit nasty. It’s when the paranoia creeps in that it becomes problematic. With spirituality, you are not better than those “weak-minded, lazy” religious people if you’ve only replaced one sacrament with another. Who hasn’t said or thought they weren’t “grateful enough,” for example?
This is to be considered an opportunity to offer yourself more compassion, not less. Remember if you are around others who are in the trap, you won’t know it’s a trap until the trap has trapped. A Quagmire is more than just your favorite cartoon character. “Giggity!” I believe I’ve said this or something of a similar flavor, but some things bear repeating.
The other day, a friend told me he was comfortable letting others be wrong. That struck a gong for me. Repeat that daily, and you may find yourself in less conflict with yourself, therefore less conflict with others. Start with you.
You don’t deserve that? Who gets what they deserve all the time, really? We’d love to think life works that way, but we know better, don’t we?
A similar goal might be something like not trying to make yourself less judgy, but notice where you do judge. Especially when you feel binary, reductive, and dogmatic harshness storm in. Offer that judgement a comfortable seat, too. There are plenty of seats to go around. It’s not musical chairs, or have you told yourself that lie, too. The scarcity game is also fun until it’s not.
I grow weary of asking these questions, but I must. Why? Is Jeopardy’s truth not in the form of a question? It’s why there’s no silly questions in life, only silly answers.
Outside of extremes, is there such a thing as a bad person or a good person? I always go back to the Lance Armstrong documentary where someone says, “I’m not sure if he was a bad person that did good things, or a good person that did bad things.” Lance did a lot of good for a lot of people on a very large scale, but apparently, he was also a large-scale bully. Wow, could that not be said about us all at once upon a time or another? We’ve all played the saint and we’ve all played the sinner. When I say this, I’m usually referring to past lives, but if you’re being honest, you can apply it to your current life if you cultivate the honest perspective to do so.
Keep in mind that your tolerance level won’t equal another’s, ever. What one person tolerates in whatever arena, another person wouldn’t, couldn’t, and shouldn’t have to tolerate. We all assume too much of another’s story and are too quick to deride, defile, and debase. We all assume our personal prism of reality equals another’s, or worse, is better than. Don’t forget the righteous indignation of it all. You were there yesterday, weren’t you?
What was once so counter-intuitive is now just the best way. Reverse-engineer yourself until it’s just the way. You welcome consideration when you consider yourself.
