As years roll by, I keep thinking that life lessons will come along fewer and farther between… and please make it the easy way instead of the hard way, por favor. After all, I’ve already learned so much. But I’m discovering that’s purely wishful thinking. (eyeroll here) Oh, my mother warned me, but that was before her baby girl realized the wisdom with which Mom more and more often spoke as I aged.
One of her oft-used sayings was, “This, too, shall pass.” I learned exactly what it meant in a conversation we had around the mid-1970s or so.
In the midst of yet another relationship breakup, I phoned her for sympathy. Of course. She could always muster up sympathy… at least for a short time. As expected, she listened and sympathized over my teary details. But after about 10 minutes, she used a break in our dialog to impart a bit of parental perspective.
“First of all,” she began, “I’m sorry you’re upset. I know you might feel sad right now. But our lives are made up of highs and lows, and obviously, you’re at a low point. It’s no fun but I promise that those feelings will soon pass, good ones will replace them, and you’ll have learned a life lesson that will make your years so much easier in the long run.”
I remember mulling her words over before answering, “I’ll sure be glad when I’m old enough to stop having to learn any more lessons and just get on with life.”
For a few seconds, dead silence followed before my mother replied, “Well, honey, I’m 65, and I’m still learning them.”
Not remotely what I wanted to hear, but I’ve never forgotten her acuity and have lived long enough to know she was right!
All that said, if you should be one of the lucky ones who is still learning about life when you’ve been on Earth for a while, thank the stars overhead. The capacity to continue learning hasn’t left you. What a gift that you are still open to wrapping your mind around a few new concepts. Trust me, your life is way more intriguing than most, and you’re more engaged because of it.
The following words from film composer, singer-songwriter, and producer Ella Joy Meir reflect remarkable insight: “Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach. Because the truth is, we can only understand certain things after we grow, after we go through life, and after time quietly teaches us what we once didn’t know.”
An aside about Meir: She just turned 30! Wisdom flows into our lives in a believable way only when we’re ready to hear it. We all grow in different emotional and spiritual directions at different times, though our lives all contain universal themes. That is one reason why many people like to read memoirs. This genre gives readers a peek into a life other than their own. We can perhaps learn how a person achieved his or her dream(s), how someone that seemed destined for success handled life when a dream failed, or if nothing else, explore lives and cultures other than our own, expanding our world view.
If you watched the Winter Olympics – the long program of “Quad god” Ilia Malinin in particular – you saw a life lesson learned quickly. The pre-Olympic buzz had already pictured him standing on the podium receiving the gold medal in Men’s Individual Figure Skating. The pressure on this 21-year-old young man must have been virtually impossible to ignore. And although he was aware of its presence, that pressure worked its way into his mind just enough to cause distraction from his carefully prepared program. And he fell, losing his chance at a medal in a category he was “supposed” to win.
When interviewed afterward, the circumspect Malinin admitted as much. His words confirmed the above. As many years as he’s been in training and developing a focus on staying present while performing, I’d wager that he’ll handle that Olympic pressure much more easily next time. He learned an important life lesson.
As long as we’re revisiting the Winter Olympics, mention must be made of the Women’s Individual Gold Medalist, Alyssa Liu. Whenever her blades touched the ice, this ebullient young woman simply radiated joy. As a viewer, I wasn’t nervous about the possibility that she might fall. Her self-confidence shone with every move. Liu’s performance was flawless. She was having so…much…fun.
This from a skater who’d been pushed to excel at a young age, chose to retire at age 16 because of burnout and to give herself the opportunity to experience other facets of her life for a while and the lessons and learnings they held. When she chose to return to skating, her coach tried to talk her out of it because few skaters can stage successful comebacks. But she felt she could now succeed on her own terms and that proved to be true. A life lesson she has learned well is valuing her own authenticity over someone else’s approval. This has made her into a terrific inspiration for young skaters and athletes.
When asked how she and Japanese bronze medalist Ami Nakai communicated, since neither spoke the other’s language, the American smiled and replied, “…by high fives, hugs, smiles, and giggles.” Pure kindness on the part of both skaters. Being kind is a tremendous life lesson with never-ending benefits. How you treat others defines your character.
Opportunities for mental, emotional, and spiritual growth travel your way daily. And you can enrich your life by learning from them but only if you’re awake and aware.
In closing, I’ll leave you with wise words from the brilliant 11th Century Sufi mystic and poet Rumi.
“You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust.
You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You were not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.”
Be open to life lessons. Learn what’s presented to you. And soar.
