laplumeDear L. A. Plume,

What is the etiquette for unfortunate cell phone redial moments? The other day I was talking to a business associate and when we finished talking, he must have hit the call button by mistake. The result was that I was privy to a conversation he was having with his wife on speakerphone, which without going into detail, was something I really didn’t need to hear.  The gist of it is that now I will not be comfortable in her presence.  Should I let him know what happened?


Dear Mark,

Sometimes messages come to us in the strangest of ways! If you can ignore what you heard, you should; but if the information made you truly uncomfortable then it is best to let him know.

L. A. Plume


Dear L. A. Plume,

The other night I was in a bar in town and a woman with a less than stellar reputation was sitting next to me talking to the husband of a friend of mine. Her handbag was wide open on the bar, and being the curious type, I peeked inside. Right in plain sight were several packages of condoms, which I think she engineered for him to see, not me.  He paid for her drinks, she left first, and he slinked out right after her – I saw them talking in the parking lot and their cars drove out at the same time. I may be jumping to conclusions, but I doubt that he didn’t follow her home. Should I tell my friend what I suspect?



Dear Sandy,

No, no, a thousand times NO! No matter what your suspicions are, you really don’t know what happened, and you stand to not only cause possibly unnecessary trouble between them, but also put yourself in the position of the messenger who gets shot. You could say something to him, however, along the lines of “I saw you and X in the bar the other night, and you may wish to be a bit more protective of your reputation.” That way you are putting him on alert and giving him the chance to explain what happened if it was innocent. If not, you will let him know that you know, and that may be warning enough.

L. A. Plume


Dear Miss Plume,

The other night I was getting ready to take my bath when the phone rang. It was a friend who has the unfortunate habit of drunk dialing. If I don’t answer when he calls, or try to hang up on him when he gets into his diatribe, he simply keeps on calling, and has, on occasion, even come over to my house. His drunken calls are annoying enough, but this time I was so frustrated that I went onto the patio to have a cigarette while listening to him rant and I totally forgot about my bath. The result was that the bathtub overflowed and ruined all my rugs and a few pieces of furniture. When I called him the next day and asked him to come help me clean up the mess that wouldn’t have occurred had he not called, he said it wasn’t his fault that I was negligent! Can I send him the bill for the rug cleaning?



Dear Belle,

You can try, let me know how it goes, I have some rugs that need cleaning, a friend who drunk dials, and I think it would be great payback for having to listen to the nonsense.

L. A. Plume


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