Author: L.A. Plume

Dear Ms. Plume, I’m stretched, frazzled, and not in the Christmas spirit (yet) this year. I appreciate what you said about having an extra gift – just in case you need it, but I’m not Santa. How necessary is it to exchange a gift with the unexpected person who gives one to you? Polly

Dear Ms. Plume, I don’t know how to handle unexpected gift giving during the holidays. Last year I was caught off-guard when my boss gave me a gift and I didn’t have one in return. What do you do? Just say thank you and smile? Go out and buy something and then give it later, which pretty clearly indicates that you didn’t think of it or have one to begin with. I don’t really have the money to buy extra gifts. What do you suggest?

Dear L.A. Plume, My son was married in early August.  My dearest friend Loretta gave them some beautiful family sterling, and because it was a heavy bulky box, gave it to me to deliver when I visited them during their engagement.  Although Loretta knows that the package was hand delivered, she has yet, after more than four months, to receive a thank you note.  Nor have any of our other friends received one.  Shouldn’t they have had at least an acknowledgment that their gifts were received? Embarrassed Edie

Dear Ms. Plume, The question you received about being (un)invited has had people standing on their tippy-toes looking over everyone’s shoulders to see who’s on what list. There was even a separate party for the (un)fortunates who didn’t attend that “big” event. With the constraints of room, budget, etc., how is it possible to avoid hurting someone’s feelings when a party is held and not everyone can be included? Bizzy

Dear L. A. Plume, I’m a recently single middle-aged man who is just entering the confusing world...

Dear Ms. Plume, I put myself in an unfortunate situation when an out-of-town friend was supposed to come visit/stay with me for a business meeting. Her plans depended on a deadline, which was undetermined; and I received a dinner invitation in the meanwhile. I hated to turn down the invitation, I was unsure if the out of town friend would actually show up, and I really wanted to see the dinner friends. Long story short – I tried to balance the two, pleased no one, and offended others. Now I’m in the dog house and don’t know how to get out. Suggestions? Melle

Dear Readers, I receive questions all the time about entertaining. Here are some excerpts from letters and suggestions for entertaining with ease.   Dear L.A. Plume, I would like to do a little entertaining but am a bit intimidated by the timing – how to get everything on the table at one time and get the guests to sit down when everything is ready. Can you help?

Dear LAP, We’re blessed with a swimming pool and use it daily. We frequently have friends on the weekend to swim; it’s always a potluck picnic. Everyone brings great food, but one family never, ever brings their own towels. I’ve told them they should do so, that I have plenty of laundry of my own. They pay no mind. We hate to stop inviting them, as one of their boys is best friends with our son. The child is too little to know to bring his own towel. I hope you have a solution. Not a Laundromat

Dear L.A. Plume, For a change, I have a solution rather than a problem, and thought I would share it with you. The question of what to take as a hostess gift when you are a house guest has been solved for me for the foreseeable future. My friends arrived for the weekend with a gift bag containing a box of pasta, a jar of specialty pasta sauce, a box of bread sticks, cheese, a bottle of wine, and cookies. They know I am often alone in my summer home and, with the addition of a salad I can make myself, this is perfect for me for a couple of dinners.

Two issues ago, I asked my readers to help me address some issues surrounding dog (and dog owner) etiquette. I got some great feedback! Dear L.A.Plume, I feel compelled to state up front that I am a dog lover. Having said that, I am not a lover of dogs being brought everywhere their owners go. (I am not a fan of children going to every function either, but that’s another story!)