Author: L.A. Plume

Dear Ms. Plume, Is the art of the party a dinosaur? People don’t RSVP, or they RSVP and then do the opposite. Do people actually know what RSVP means?? Do they understand that if you hire a caterer for a party, you are paying per guest for food and drinks?

Dear L. A. Plume, I was recently a guest in someone’s home for a dinner party. After dinner we retired to the living room for conversation and drinks. It was quite a lovely evening until the hostess sat down in her favorite chair facing the rest of the room, and took off her shoes and put her feet up on the ottoman. Now I have no issue with people being comfortable in their own home, but her feet, which are just a tad past old and gnarly, were in the middle of the room, like a centerpiece. Unfortunately they did not have the same bouquet that a vase of roses might have, and additionally, we could all see up her skirt. To put it delicately, we were not looking at London or France. Her husband paid absolutely zero attention to these facts. What could we have done or said? Prefers Manolo Blahniks

Dear L. A. Plume, I was recently a guest in someone’€™s home for a dinner party. After dinner we retired to the living room for conversation and drinks. It was quite a lovely evening until the hostess sat down in her favorite chair facing the rest of the room, and took off her shoes and put her feet up on the ottoman.

Dear L. A. Plume,                   I had a situation arise yesterday as I was flying from San Francisco to New York. I boarded the plane in one of the last groups, and when I got to my middle seat I had to climb over an oversized man in the aisle seat who was oozing into my space.

Dear L. A. Plume, I moved to town a few years ago and my next door neighbor was my best friend until she moved away; now we never see each other and rarely talk. I keep wondering if it was something I did, or said, that I’m not aware of. How can I find out? Curious

Dear L. A. Plume,             What do you do when someone comes to you with gossip about what someone supposedly said about you? This person is a relatively new “friend” and has told me things that long-time friends have said about me – things that are very hurtful.

Dear L. A. Plume, I went with a friend to a thrift shop today and while we were looking around we couldn’t help but overhear one of the volunteers conversing with a customer about Donald Trump. T

Dear L.A.,What has happened to simple good manners? A close friend of mine has two children, who are now 10 and 12, a girl and a boy. Both are polite and will engage in conversation with their mom’s adult friends. Every Christmas and birthday, I give each a well-thought-out present, always something they’d like. But I have yet to receive a thank you of any sort from either child.

Dear Ms. Plume, We have a neighbor out here on an island who we refer to as Ms. S, which may be the initial of her name or one of her less than attractive personality traits. During the hurricane clean-up she was inordinately proud of the fact that she stiffed a crew of nice young men who were helping her, and bragged on about it.

Dear Ms. Plume, Neighbors, friends, and a few strangers helped us clear tree branches that fell on our roof during the hurricane, and also helped us with the immediately needed repairs. They are not people who do this for their profession so offering them money seems inappropriate and perhaps slightly offensive for an act of goodwill. However my husband and I would like to acknowledge their efforts, which were greatly appreciated, in some way. Can you offer some suggestions? Safe and Sound