It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Charles Dickens explored motifs of love, sacrifice, and resurrection betwixt the bedlam of transformation throughout the period of the French Revolution, yet my methodical aim is set at the revolution of the soul and your personal tale of two cities.
I would say that enlightenment is not a place but rather a frequency state. Tuning in arrives through quiet introspection. Meditation teaches us that God’s whisper is heard only when we are silent and silence in this case is the biproduct of quiet observation. As such, the quieter you become, the more you are able to “tune in” and the more you are able to tune in, the more you will hear.
In meditation you become aware of thoughts coming and going like sitting on your front porch watching people walk by in all sorts of costumes, having all manner of conversations. But from this place you come to realize that you are not your thoughts but the one who is watching them. The realization of this separation is the paramount.
From the place of quiet introspection, you are granted access to higher states of awareness. Detachment is the reward that silence offers, and detached observation equates to Nirvana as defined in the Bhagavad Gita: “the supreme state of liberation, where the individual self ceases to be ego-driven and merges into the absolute existence, consciousness, and bliss of Braham (the Divine)”. Here lies the cessation of the torments, yearnings, and ignorances of the material life.
This cessation of grief occurs due to your ability to separate your true self from your body.
The body’s JavaScript code is embedded with a millennia of risk-mitigating architecture so much so that almost everything is considered a threat. Even on the clearest of days at least one singular, very particular, solitary, and peculiar cloud can be found in our sky, although our backs may rest upon thick comforting cotton, enveloped by a field of efflorescence, our sun is still sometimes…if even for a moment, blocked. We have become fear-based creatures because we believe that we are our bodies and have forgotten that we are our souls.
The body shouldn’t be to blame for our suffering, for it is simply a vehicle doing its job, trying to keep us safe and alive long enough to pass on our genes thusly carrying out the continuation of our species. But it intimately understands its fragile mortality. That is why separating YOU from the body is of upmost importance.
Whenever you have thoughts that invoke fear within your being, understand that it is not YOU who is fearful, the fear belongs to the body.
Let’s say you’ve experienced abandonment by one or both parents early on in life. The body will tell you that you’re deficient because “biology programs parents to be caring, so if you weren’t cared for properly, it is you who is insufficient.” The body’s suggestion may make you feel like you must hold tight to the tools of jealousy and possessiveness in a relationship later on in life because of this perceived deficiency. This is an evolutionary adaptive trait (a trait that improves survival or reproduction) because during our days as hunters and gathers the body learned: no parents=deficient=death and no partner=no genes passed=death.
Are you a people pleaser? Do you care too much if people like you? Guess what? That fear of not being accepted is another example of the body’s fear of its own demise. If we take another look at our early ancestors, we see that shunning or banishment from a tribal perspective equated to death. So, the body says: “no tribe=no safety in numbers=death.”
It is of great importance that you constantly take self-examining inventory by responding to your feelings rather than reacting to them. If you experience a feeling that is displeasing or adverse, continually ask yourself “why?” until you reach the root of the fear. Only from the source will lasting healing occur.
Remember, your true self is the observer in this story. The soul is intimately aware of its immortality and union with the Divine while the body is intimately aware of its mortality, therefore we are constantly at war.
I offer you a peace treaty to end this divisiveness, a pamphlet you can take with you throughout your day…
When you feel anxious thoughts arising within you or anger begins to bubble up, say this affirmation gently to yourself or out loud: “I don’t have to respond to this.”
If someone or something upsets you, remember you have a choice in what to do with that feeling. You could analyze it (soul perspective), or you could react to it (body perspective). But it must be tiresome being defensive all one’s life.
I use this practice almost every day. If someone cuts me off in traffic or steals my parking spot (which just happened lol) or if someone is rude or unpleasant, or even if I feel jealousy in my relationship and especially when I feel anxious, I simply say: “I don’t have to respond to this.”
In the parking spot stealer’s case, I felt upset because I want people to be more considerate but the fear underneath it all for me is that I am scared that someone can take something from me or that there isn’t enough for everyone, but that’s the body. My soul knows that what’s for me can’t pass me and that if I hear “no” over here then that’s just because there’s a better “yes” over there.
In closing I’ll share a practice with you that will slowly and gently retrain your mind/body:
Next time your body throws fear at you (breakup anxiety, abandonment, dread, etc.):
- Place a hand on your chest or belly.
- Breathe slowly and say:
- Body, I know you’re scared.
- But I am your soul, and I will never abandon you.
- “We rise together.”
- Imagine your body’s cells hearing this for the very first time — because in a way, they are.
