Well, spring has sprung in the Lowcountry, and, given the questions people have been throwing my way, it seems that romance is on the menu, sort of.
Marco No-no
Dear Aunt Bossy,
I recently met a guy who is decent looking, smart, interested in lots of things, and very active. He works for himself and is financially responsible.
I wouldn’t describe him as sophisticated, but he has travelled all over the world, and lived in New York, so there is that.
Here is the problem: I have never been overseas. When I told him that, he practically lost his mind and started treating me like a differently-abled child.
To show me the glories of other cultures, he took me to every hole in the wall restaurant run by people who have come here from different countries and miss their local street food. I have no problem with that, except that it is embarrassing the way he tries to act like one of them, and acts all buddy buddy, like he is the Great White Savior or something.
He also assumes that I am afraid or ignorant of other cultures, and lectures me to “expand my world.” And, we never go to some pretty, quiet romantic place, which is usually part of a courtship.
What do you think of this?
Thanks,
Unworldly Woman
Dear Woman,
I think you should get away from this pompous, condescending guy who shows that he is horribly ignorant by the way he treats you. True diversity does not come from nationality/skin color/ethnicity/sex. It comes from different kindsof people, and you can find them in your neighborhood or out in the world.
I love to travel and have spent much of my adult life traveling, but that does not make me a superior person. Emily Dickinson rarely left her house or her town.
Bottom line is you should travel if you want to, and if you don’t, it doesn’t mean anything except you don’t like to travel. Your friend needs to get a life, and a new girlfriend, because you should not subject yourself to that treatment.
Best,
Aunt Bossy
An Emotional Scrooge
Dear Aunt Bossy,
My husband is too materialistic. All he thinks about is money. The first question he asks about someone is how much money they have. When we meet people, even if they are very nice, if they aren’t millionaires, he says he just can’t understand how they live like that, and some of them have very nice lives.
I like being rich, but I know it is a lucky thing, and doesn’t make us better than other people. I also know that it isn’t the secret to happiness.
He judges the worth of people by their jewelry, cars, houses, and feels sorry for anyone who doesn’t have a Rolex or top of the line Mercedes.
Our children have become so entitled that I worry they will not ever develop empathy or emotional intelligence because they idolize him and those are things he does not encourage.
What should I do?
Lilah
Dear Lilah,
I don’t know. This is a very big problem, especially since you have children. At the least, get a counselor to help you sort it out, and see where that goes.
Sorry I can’t be of more help, but it appears you have met a concrete wall, and need to learn how to be happy with it blocking your way, or climb over it and run for the hills. A professional can help you figure out what to do. Good luck!
Best,
Aunt Bossy
