Author: L.A. Plume

Dear L. A. Plume, Help! My husband and I have rented a beach house for a month and invited his college roommate to visit for a few days. The roommate showed up with a new girlfriend who we were not expecting. The issue is that she promenades around the house in her bathing suit bottom and low cut bra all the while announcing that she is really a nudist. I’m just waiting for the day when she decides to embrace her proclivity and walk around nude.

Dear Ms. Plume, I have dear friends who keep inviting me to wonderful events and parties; I could never reciprocate in kind but would like to do something special for them. Flowers or bottles of wine just aren’t enough, and I do write thank you notes but that’s what is expected. How can I show my affection and appreciation in a more meaningful way? Belle

Dear Ms. Plume, I’ve always wondered if we’re held accountable for someone else’s behavior if they are our friend or guest. I’m dating a woman who has poor table manners. She talks with food in her mouth, she collects the dinner plates when people are barely finished eating and scrapes them at the table, she scrapes her own plate while eating until I think the decoration will come off. She is other wise lovely, but I shudder when we have dinner with friends. Ethan

Dear Ms. Plume, I recently had a couple visiting me for a couple of days. When they left I found a few bottles of Bourbon in the trash. I don’t care who drinks what or when, but she doesn’t drink, and she thinks he isn’t drinking. So in addition to the fact that no one bothered to tell me I needed to replenish my liquor cabinet, I’m a bit worried that his drinking problem has resurfaced. Should I say something to my friend? Kay

Dear Ms. Plume,   I’ve been in a relationship for a while now and thought I was relatively happy, until it hit me over the head recently that the object of my affection is terribly jealous. She just gave me a book, Essential Manners for Men written by Peter Post. I wasn’t quite sure in what manner to receive this gift, and just so you know, Peter does not address the issue of gifts of dubious origin.

Dear L. A. Plume, Many of us are transplants to the South, as am I. I often hear of a distant friend’s passing away in a different state. Signing the online guest book is not enough of a gesture of sympathy, but I don’t want to send flowers, as I think that would be too much. What should I do? Cindy

  Dear L.A. Plume, We have some dear friends, but problems occur when he starts drinking with gusto.  He inserts politics into EVERYTHING – even during the funny Super Bowl ads!

Dear L.A. Plume, I went to a dinner party at a friend’s home this evening and was astounded to find that one of the guests produced an iPad in the middle of cocktails before dinner. She was unknown to most of us, but dominated the conversation in her corner. When that impact didn’t seem to do the trick, she brought out her iPad, asked for the hosts’ internet connection and password and proceeded to “show off” photos of her boat and house and horse. Ick! What could we have done to discourage this? Lee

Dear L. A. Plume, For the past four years we have met friends for a January vacation; this year they appeared with boxes of Christmas presents for us. We’ve never exchanged gifts in the past, I don’t know why this year they changed the custom but it left us empty handed and embarrassed. Should I try to make up for it, and if so – how?   Sandy

Dear L. A. Plume, Our extended family went to a lovely resort for the holidays and I was astonished at the table manners some of them displayed in the fancy restaurants. They brought personal DVD players for the children, the twenty/thirty-somethings brought their iPads to the table, where they proceeded to text and play games during dinner, and even one elderly uncle was fussing with his iPhone during the meal!