Author: L.A. Plume

Dear Ms. Plume, I recently attended a memorial service for a friend who passed away unexpectedly at a young (to us spring chickens) age. She was a dearly loved wife, mother, grandmother, friend and was very active in the community. The church was completely packed. From my perch in the balcony, I noticed that black was the predominant color of dress. But not for everyone. What’s kosher these days for funeral attire?  Signed,  The Lady in Turquoise

Dear Ms. Plume, How can I get people to stop sending me political texts, emails, and posting things on my Facebook page? How can I say it more concisely than, “Think what you want, let me think what I want; aggressively bullying me and assaulting me with your position isn’t going to change mine.”? Egads! Enough already! Sandy

Dear Ms. Plume, How can I get people to stop sending me political texts, emails, and posting things on my Facebook page? How can I say it more concisely than, “Think what you want, let me think what I want; aggressively bullying me and assaulting me with your position isn’t going to change mine.”? Egads! Enough already! Sandy

  Dear L. A. Plume,   My daughter and I are planning her wedding and whenever her fiance’s mother gets within range she says things like, “When my daughter got married it was the most wonderful wedding ever,” or “she had the most beautiful flowers you can imagine,” or “her invitations were engraved on really fine stock.”

Questions recently have gone like this: Dear L. A. Plume, My friend’s father died, or my friend’s daughter died, or my friend’s husband was diagnosed with . . . What can/should I do? What do I wear? What is appropriate?

Dear L. A. Plume, I was invited to a wedding where the gift registry didn’t include a single household item. They wanted power tools, pet beds, and the like. I understand that the days of people getting married and setting up a household are for the most part long gone, that they have been living together and have most of the domestic necessities; but still, I object to giving a gift that has no sentimentality and won’t be long remembered. Is it acceptable for me to choose something not on the registry that I believe they will still like? Pat

Dear L. A. Plume, What do you say to someone who insisted upon bringing a dish to a dinner party, and you have planned your menu to include that dish, and then the guest shows up without it? Annie

Dear L. A. Plume, I recently had some surgery that has made it difficult for me to resume normal life. I have a dear old friend who is trying to help in any way she can, but she just doesn’t do things the way I do and I find it difficult to not fault her, even though she is doing her best.

In my last column, I discussed The Bluffer’s Guide to Etiquette, by the Englishman William Hanson. It seems that I forgot to mention that, according to Hanson, if you are presented with a selection of cheeses, it is extremely poor form to cut the “nose” or point of cheese; instead you should cut from the rind.

I was recently given a book, The Bluffer’s Guide to Etiquette, written by William Hansom. It is called the “bluffer’s guide” because it offers assistance in bluffing your way around a social situation when you don’t know the proper etiquette. It also has some handy tips for actually knowing how to behave properly.