How often can one say, “It was every bit as good as I thought it would be”? Not very often, right? I mean, Harris Teeter’s pimento cheese is all it’s cracked up to be, but that’s an outlier, right? Seriously, try it if you’re not lactose intolerant. Maybe it’s worth it even if you do have a problem tolerating dairy. Only you can judge if the juice is worth the squeeze.

In today’s column I intend to encourage those that have chosen 2025 as the year of a$$hole reduction in their lives. I’m not sure how I feel anymore about resolutions, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a noble pursuit with peace on earth as a destination. After all, it has to happen within before it’s reflected outwardly. Maybe it’s as simple as embracing the ease rather than tolerating the intolerable. We’ll see, won’t we?

“Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, while wisdom is knowing not to put tomatoes in a fruit salad.” (@counteruck) Where does the cynicism of our existence end? My guess is probably right about where the paranoia begins. Various forms of smugness are, far too often, confused with intelligence by the victim and the perpetrator alike.

Do we not use our sense of smell on the road to epicurial delights? There’s a reason why the senses of taste and smell are so closely linked beyond knowing if something or someone is palatable or not. Nothing is wasted in this life we lead. Remember that. Embrace that. What smells are wafting your way? It’s a choice to be downwind or upwind.

It’s okay to send a mollify cocktail their way. Stirred, not shaken, as only 00Sutty would have it. You owe them nothing and revealing your anger only fuels their ire. Disdain for your innocence is often underestimated. You’re built differently. It’s why you can’t see it easily. Have faith. It’s all you have, isn’t it?

A Turkish proverb teaches us: “The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe. For the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them.”

I try to ask myself if I spend too much time ruminating. My sincere hope is that our readers will ask this question, too. I often remind, and even chastise my readers about not even trying five minutes a day meditating. Ruminating is the other end of the spectrum of denial. We’ve all seen those who apparently have too much time on their hands. What do they look like? Do you spend too much time dining with your problems? God knows the world would be a better place with more people in therapy, but when does the law of diminishing returns kick in? Only the individual can answer that for themselves. I want to make sure you’re at least asking the question.

The above paragraph is meditation, too. If you want to get really woo woo, you can ask for a distinct smell to clue you in. Just like food that doesn’t smell quite right, it’s a quick road to having it come out both ends. Ick, and one of the worst feelings in the world. Sometimes that’s exactly where you want to be, though.

But I’m not certain I want to go through the growing pains required. I get that. I really do, but consider that certainty is the enemy of unity. Certainty is the enemy of tolerance. If only there was certainty and no doubt, there would be no mystery. What fun is that? Consider that your truth is so precious, it’s been concealed with a bodyguard of lies.

Who hasn’t wondered about things left unsaid and undone? Pressure is a privilege, is it not? Embrace the pressure of the road less travelled. Privileged are those that intend healing and growth in the new year. It’s a tough, but worthwhile road, so here are some underrated signs from @rewildtu you’re healing:

  • You no longer wear being over-worked and tired as a badge of honor.
  • You have stopped over-apologizing for the choices you make.
  • You can rest without feeling guilty.
  • You have stopped expecting people to read your mind, and, instead, feel safe asking for what you want.
  • You don’t need to be liked by everyone.

In the end, it’s that you learn, not that you agree with, or get closure from said scenario. Keep in mind that while closure is certainly desirable, it’s a black rabbit hole one can piss away years or decades chasing. Be mindful that anxiety screams while intuition whispers. Anxiety feels jittery, while intuition feels calm (@megjosephson). Watch out for those coffee hangovers. Coffee smells good, but you don’t need the last drop.

We’ve reached the age where we can convert that righteous energy into something more useful—more utilitarian than constant recrimination. The alternate reality is yours to create and embrace. Follow your nose like a blood hound. If the smell is stank, change what you rank, to allow those settings to tranquilize. It’s a worthy endeavor for your beautiful soul.